Overheard on the Interwebs

[storpotaten]

Listener: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.
(The podcaster does not respond.)

Listener: 'Ello, Miss?

Podcaster: What do you mean "miss"?

Listener: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!

Podcaster: We're closin' for lunch.

Listener: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this podcast what I downloaded not half a year ago from this very website.

Podcaster: Oh yes, the, uh, the Home Made Hit Show...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?

Listener: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. It's dead, that's what's wrong with it!

Podcaster: No, no, it's uh,...it's resting.

Listener: Look, matey, I know a dead podcast when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

Podcaster: No no it's not dead, it's, it's restin'! Remarkable idea, the Home Made Hit Show, idn'it, ay? Beautiful blabbering!

Listener: The blabblering don't enter into it. It's stone dead.

Podcaster: Nononono, no, no! It's resting!

Listener: All right then, if it's restin', I'll wake it up! (shouting at the screen) 'Ello, 'Ome Made Hit Show! I've got a lovely fresh song for you if you show...

Podcaster: There, it updated!

Listener: No, it didn't, that was one of the fans posting something in the forum!

Podcaster: Same thing!!

Listener: (yelling and hitting the screen repeatedly) 'ELLO PODDY!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!
(Takes MP3 player in hand and thumps it on the screen. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)

Listener: Now that's what I call a dead podcast.

Podcaster: No, no.....No, it's stunned!

Listener: STUNNED?!?

Podcaster: Yeah! You stunned it, just as it was wakin' up! Home Made Hit Show stuns easily, major.

Listener: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That podcast is definitely deceased, and when I downloaded it not 'alf a year ago, you assured me that its total lack of update was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged summer.

Podcaster: Well, it's...it's, ah...probably off looking at new gear.

Listener: LOOKING AT NEW GEAR?!?!?!? Look, I took the liberty of examining that podcast, and I discovered the only reason that it had been updated recently in the first place was that others had done the entire job. It's bleedin' demised!

Podcaster: No no! It's pining!

Listener: It's not pinin'! It's passed on! This podcast is no more! It has ceased to be! It's expired and gone to meet its maker! It's a stiff! Bereft of life, it rests in peace! It’s pushing up the daisies! It's kicked the bucket, it's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisible!! The 'ome has burned down, the maid is gone and the 'it has 'it the fan! THIS IS AN EX-PODCAST!!

Podcaster: Well, I'd better replace it, then. (He takes a quick peek behind the counter.) Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh, we're right out of songwriting ideas.

Listener: I see. I see, I get the picture.

Podcaster: I got a blog.

Listener: Pray, does it play music?

Podcaster: Nnnnot really.

Listener: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?

Podcaster: N-no, I guess not.

[lucas]

I 'eard 'twasn't dead , just on 'oliday

(BTW, your dedication in typing all that out is impressive or did the spuds do it for you?)

[storpotaten]

(BTW, your dedication in typing all that out is impressive or did the spuds do it for you?)

It was state-of-the-art top-secret Chinese speech-to-text software. Can't tell you more than that or I might lose face.

[Polly]

I heard it been 'taken up'.

Oh no. There it is.

And that was an impressively long post Storp!